Love is staring you right in the face

Ah, springtime. Such a beautiful time of year. The weather is temperate, the sun is bright in the sky, and every where a sense of love is in the air.

Especially at the dog park.

I was driving to get a little bite to eat today. Since I seem to be in a perpetual quarter/mid-life crisis, I put the top down on the convertible and took the long way to our little breakfast spot in Westwood. Rolling up Barrington and past the well known dog park that is there, traffic slowed eventually to deposit my vehicle right next to the fence that sits along the road. With music blasting on the radio, I was feeling the vibe of the day. And then I glanced slowly over to my right...

Cue the cheesy 70's porn music.

He was a larger dog. Likely in the Retriever family. Big, goofy, tongue flailing wildly out of the side of his mouth as he stared directly at me.

She was of the hound family. Smaller, a little curvy, and staring right at me.

I wanted to look away. But I couldn't. Not because I have some sort of dog humping fetish, but because THEY were staring at ME. It's my opinion that I was just glancing over and they were already looking at me. They wanted me to see them. Why else would they be knockin' boots at 10 in the morning in the middle of a park? Damn little doggie voyeurs.

Dogs are about as close to the internet as the natural world gets. As with that there world wide web, with dogs...anything goes. Cleaning themselves in public? Check. Eating their own regurgitations? Check. Nose to ass/crotch/other? Check, check, CHECK!

They put their private lives on display as if all dogs are part of some unknown Dogbook we can't plug into. But not only are dogs social networkers, they are the pornstars of the animal world. They walk around all day with nipples swinging to and fro, or little tubes of "pink lipstick" popping out at all the wrong times. And they don't really care what you think about it. As for other animals adopting this behavior, you don't see cats or squirrels doing it, do you? They may chase each other around, but that's foreplay. We've all seen the pigeon doing the little bob-n-weave-look-at-me walk behind the female his diggin' on, but have you ever seen them just flat out go for broke?

When my Dad told me about the birds and the bees, he talked about discretion, love, and safety. I guess that's why they don't tell you about the "birds and the dogs".

Makes me glad I have a cat.

Ain't that the Bitters Truth.